In counseling, one principle that helps many people is the idea of reframing. Reframing is a powerful process that adds a new perspective to the original meaning of a situation, by placing it in a new outlook that is equally valid. Counselors help clients to relabel the client’s “problem” as a helpful and protective function of the client’s current coping abilities. Reframing can also Photo by Jessica Ruscello on Unsplash help a person to learn new facets of their situation.
For example, when working with a client that is grieving the loss of a relationship, a possible reframe is to acknowledge the opportunities to meet new people. Another reframe is to recognize and accept the things that were learned despite the pain of the broken relationship. Another reframe is to acknowledge the gratitude that can be felt for the person. Yet, another reframe is to find forgiveness for oneself and for the former partner.
A breakup yields a lot of pain and heartache. Rather than trying to hide the damage, Kintsugi highlights the repair. The repaired flaws add to the beauty and value of the person. Rather than trying to hide the damage of a breakup, using the idea of Kintsugi, a person can mend and reconstruct a broken heart.
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Like Kintsugi, reframing the situation is like the golden joinery of Kintsugi, that takes the dashed hopes and dreams and rejoins the shards of the pottery bowl with the strength of lacquer and with the beauty and value of gold. The bowl still shows the effects of the brokenness and is stronger than before and shows an exquisite new beauty. Similarly, using the art of reframing, you can transform something that is painful, raw, and full of heartache into something of strength, usefulness, completeness, and wellness.
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R. David Johns has a PhD in Counseling Education and Supervision, and a master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and Licensed Addiction Counselor (LAC) in the state of Colorado. As a gay-identified counselor and therapist, he uses trauma informed practices, such as Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Mindfulness to discover each client’s unique way towards healing. For an appointment call 303-642-6636 or email at [email protected]
References
Goldenberg, I. Stanton, M. & Goldenberg, H. (2017). Family therapy: An overview (19th Edition). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.
Ruth-Sahd, L. & Deibler, A. (2024). Kintsugi. Dimensions of Critical Care. Nursing, 43 (1), 36-39. doi: 10.1097/DCC.0000000000000618.
